Headaches Continue, and not just the self inflicted ones.

Of the last 14 days of my headache diet I've had 12 headaches. I suppose it could be taking me that long to detox, but it seems unlikely. Looking back on my food diary it dawned on me that I can't think of anything. Wheat maybe but I don't eat a lot of it, or a lot of carbs for that matter. I haven't been drinking. I think I've only had a small glass of wine since Christmas, so it continues to be a conundrum to me.

Last year I took a daily medication and it worked but it was a hard adjustment. A couple days after my first few pills I was commissioned to play the piano at church. I felt tipsy and totally lacking focus. There were leaves dancing in the breeze and they shone through the stained glass window and caught my attention, holding it there until I completely spaced out the church service  The minister broke my trance and had to remind me to play the next hymn. I felt like the heroine in a twilight zone episode.

After a few weeks my spirits raised, I started sleeping better and the headaches started to go away. It happened so gradually I almost didn't notice. It was like one day I woke up and suddenly realized I didn't have headaches anymore. I began to adjust to the feeling  of being continually toasted. It was like having a central line with a conituous flow of whiskey, a perpetual happy hour. Never too drunk, never to sober just steady and kind of numb. I felt dull and uncreative. It was terrible, I had the ability to function but no desire, just the opposite of me with a headache. This is my brain on meds, ( nothing but us brain cells, shriveling with boredom ) this is my brain on headaches ( imagination soars to unbelievable heights and imaginary friends come out of the woodwork but they never shut up). It's all or nothing, intoxicating creativity or watching paint dry.

Such is my fate. I need to pick a lesser of two evils. Go back on the meds or keep experimenting with diet or whatever I can think of. I could try tai chi, hypnosis, energy healing, acupuncture or heated glass therapy. I tried chiropractic but it felt like a downward spiraling vortex that sucked me of money, not too mention a heightened awareness of spinal cord injuries. That's probably just scratching the surface of various therapies. I wonder if there's a therapy that involves fast cars and reggae.

I'll just keep on doing what I'm doing I guess and hope something  brilliant comes across the wire.

All the best, Kate

Really !

It was just one of those ridiculous days. You can't escape them because it's just part of the universal order of things. Call it Murphy's Law or whatever you like. It's the weird little oddities that are inevitable, really.

I finally found a great tasting sugar free cookie and it has 12 grams of fat in it. 
I visited my parents today and they have their thermostat set at 975 degrees, yes 975. It was so hot I got a sunburn, lost 4 pounds and started to peel on the drive home. They also pass gas alot and don't care who hears it.
I had a blood test today and I had to hold the tubes for the lab lady so she could use both hands.
Starbucks makes fantastic oatmeal with nuts and raisins for a mere $3.00
I drove 80 mph on the freeway and some idiot still tailgated me.
It only took me 6 minutes to drive to the bank which is 10 minutes away because I had all green lights.

To all of these things I say... REALLY...

I am about to scrounge the fridge looking for something for dinner. I may head back to Starbucks. That oatmeal made a lasting impression on me. So did it's 350 calories. I didn't have to eat the nuts and cranberries but I did, and it truly was delicious!

All the best, Kate

Sunday! Day of rest? By who's standards.

I'm beginning to understand the wisdom of eating small meals several times a day. It keeps one from making poor choices. I made a poor choice today, getting out of bed.

The day was a just little more stressful than I like but it was nice. I like when that happens. I did have to keep reminding myself to keep Christmas in my heart every other minute or so but I managed.


Long story, short version. I agreed to do a bridal show of the 'show your wares and samples as fast as you can to 500 brides' ilk. In the past I've done it and it's always come down to big investment, long hours and little return, but I'm hopeful. It's twenty-ten afterall and the brides were both beautiful and receptive. The organization and locale was stunning. The show was fun indeed. I was also booked to fill in for the musician at church. I thought it was supposed to be next week, but the dates were confused. It's usually a fun gig but today, today there was pressure.

My gentlemen husband, (he's so kind) left with me this morning, helped me set up our booth and then stayed at the show by himself while I ran out to play the piano. I played like the place was on fire! It was glorious. No fuss, no muss, just play, pray and on your way!!! I rushed back to the bridal show just as brides were beginning to trickle in and then that trickle turned into a flood and we were busy working our cake magic. Again, glorious!!

Is there a point you say! Truly, and here it is. I ate nothing all day but a 100% whole wheat english muffin with sugar free blueberry jam. My stomach started singing along during the sermon and continued right on through the offering. Thank God, for the communion, literally. I had a Homer Simpson moment.... brreeaad...hooo, and holy bread at that. Doh!

By the time we left the bridal show at 5:00 I was practically hallucinating. A nice man from a local restaurant strolled through passing out cookies and what did I do? I tackled him like a linebacker. I ate one cookie, but only one.

The poor choice was setting myself up to fail. Eating the cookie wasn't so terrible but  leaving myself with no other choices was nonsensical.  I should have gotten my keester out of bed and packed some carrots, fruit, rice cakes, anything!!  When we arrived home I inhaled a cup of decaf, vegan pizza, salad and a few kernels of last nights popcorn.. blaech!

Kids, I've learned my lesson. I will no longer venture out of the old homestead with nothing between me and the beast that is my hunger, but a mere tic tac. I'm determined to carry healthy snacks all the days of my life (and keep Christmas in my heart).

All the best, Kate

Friday Night Pizza!

It's Friday, the cakes are finished and gorgeous!
This cute little purse is among my favorites. I'm happy, I'm relaxed ( the shot of tequilla didn't hurt) dinner's well underway and my Gentlemen Husband and I had a very nice day together.

We made our own pizza and it looks mouth wateringly delicious. We made our own sauce, which is the best way to go because it's easier to control the fat, cholesterol, sugar and every other good thing. We're using whole wheat crust which has a lovely nutty flavor. I like sauted spinach, sliced roma tomatos, green olives and vegan cheese of the romano, parmesan variety. I only use a wee bit of the cheese, a 1/2 cup at most. You'd be surprised how much that is.I'm still getting used to it. Veggie Shreds don't melt very well, they sort of keep their shape, which is why I opt for the finely shredded variety.

We're having grilled pineapple for dessert. I saute it in a tiny bit of olive oil and add a little honey while it's grilling. I like it warm/cold so I don't saute it long enough heat completely through. Fresh pineapple is the best for this application.

I love this dinner, it's healthy and I don't feel cheated. I'm finding that I'm actually saving money with my new meal plan. I hesitate to order out now because there's usually nothing on the menu I feel I can eat and I have no clue what the 'numbers' are on stuff I don't prepare myself. I'm sure we'll go to a restaurant eventually but it will have to be one with seafood and salads and veggie type things. I hate to be that pain in the neck cover who asks for everything on the side, and special order this and that but I will be. I'll get over it!

Well, here's the tomato sauce recipe. It's subject to change depending on how you feel on any given day. I tend to cook with my senses and I'm a thrower. I'll toss things in randomly but I usually go with my nose. If it smells right toss it in. I also use this sauce for whole wheat mostaciolli, minestrone soup and spaghetti. We usually have some on hand. You never know when you'll need it.

Tomato Sauce for Pizza.

Saute an onion in olive oil until almost translucent
Add several cloves of garlic and saute until you can smell the garlic
Add 2- 15 ounce cans of tomato sauce and a can of diced tomatos
Add Seasonings. I use parlsey, basil, oregano, chili powder, sugar, salt, pepper and a pinch of nutmeg.
Let the sauce cook until thickened and yummy.
Adjust seasonings as necessary.

A run through the garden pizza is delicious and healthy. The leftovers are even better!!

All the best, Kate

The Etiquette on Christmas Decorations

I'm reasonably sure that according to Hoyle, Christmas decorations should be removed by Twelfth Night which I believe to be yesterday, yet I have no desire to take down the tree. I almost feel that since store decorations have been up since well before Thanksgiving there's a bit of wiggle room here.

I like the tree, each ornament is unique and truthfully I just put a new one up yesterday. It is one of three that I received this year as gifts. Two are from my daughter in law Cate, a snowglobe with a deer in the snow and an angel bell. The other from my friend Laurie, is a slice of strawberry pie and is the sister to a three tiered cake ornament she gave me last year.  I am enjoying looking at them and I'm not ready to stop.

There's something about wrapping them in tissue and putting them to sleep in a box for a year that makes me sad. Perhaps it would be a more valuable use of my time to leave them there and enjoy gazing at them. It may help to balance my chi. Through feng shui, chi  energy should be able to roam freely in order maintain balance. Chi is a very powerful thing. The balance of your surroundings can greatly affect your outlook and mood. If you use the color green in the East part of your house it improves your health and helps balance your family life. Our Christmas tree just happens to be green and coincidentally resides in the South East corner of our living room. Close enough for me and a very compelling reason to leave the tree standing.

You may think I might be grasping at straws, procrastinating or lazy. Not true. I like my stuff. I think there's something romantic about using it. Why should china sit in a cabinet, and candles go unburned. When I'm on my deathbed  am I going to blurt out that I really enjoyed NOT using the stuff  I've cherished throughout my life. Gifts from best friends, letters my gentlemen husband wrote me in college, treasures from relatives, things I'd try to save in a fire, these should be enjoyed. O Tannenbaum I'm not sick of you yet !

Who knows when it will come down. When I find another way to balance my Chi I might feel led to take down the tree and decorations.  For now it stands.

All the best, Kate

Filet of Soul

There are days that I daydream about moving to a little cabin in the middle of nowhere with my gentlemen husband. It would be remote enough that we would have things air dropped to us but not so remote that I couldn't bump into a forest ranger every so often. A dog sled sounds nice too but I'd like to be able to drive a pick up truck in the spring, summer and fall, maybe a zamboni in the winter.

I'm probably just feeling a little melancholy. Things are catching up with me, I'm a little stressed and I can't get the taste of last night's dinner out of my mouth. It was filet of sole and it tasted fishy to the 10th power. Several brushings and a mouthful of peroxydyl still didn't do the job and I woke up feeling like I'd sipped the water out of the fish tank in my sleep. Perhaps I'm de-evolving and tomorrow I'll wake up with scales and a hankering for flaky food.

It dawned on me that yesterday I didn't follow the rules. I skipped meals which caused hunger and then I ate the wrong things. By the time hating dinner rolled around I was starving and crabby and ended up eating peanutbutter and jelly, a handful of animal crackers (does that make me a carnivore?) and a cup of low sugar cocoa- blaech!!

My soul is feeling fileted. My job requires large amounts of sugar, dairy, fat and high fructose corn syrup. Do you have a 50 pound bucket of glucose in your kitchen? My gentlemen husband, who I dearly love, requires large quantities of beef jerky, chocolate donuts and snacky crackery, chippy dippy things so I'm surrounded by the stuff and trying to ignore it. My new snack is peanut butter and raisins on a rice cake and I'm trying to shout it's praises like a cheerleader while family members look on with their eyebrows cocked. It's a little tough once in awhile, on days like this. It's not so dire that have a salami stuffed in the fire wood basket or a lamp stuffed with peanut butter cups but it's tough.

When my soul feels exhausted I think about a little cabin in the woods, a woods that does not contain a candy house and a couple of crumb dropping hoodlums.

All the best, Kate

Spin, Spin, Spin

I made it to the gym today with enough time to walk 12 minutes on the treadmill before spinning began. I realize that ranks me a top spot in the underachievers hall of fame but at least I didn't show up in my pajamas. According to leading authorities, (okay, it was Dr. Oz) you're supposed to walk 2 blocks for every 10 pounds of weight you're carrying, that is on your body, not whatever weights you're literally carrying. Not a back pack, heavy purse, toolbelt, boxes of velveeta or the weight of the world, you know what I mean. It takes 16-17 blocks to make a mile so you can figure it out for yourself, but let's just say I didn't get very far. I need to get up even earlier. We'll see how the rooster feels about it when I wake him up tomorrow.

When I say spinning I don't mean, straw into hay, a carousel,  yarn, or round and round. Technically, that's twirling and the two should never be confused. I'm referring to sitting on a stationary bike and riding slow, fast, standing or sitting with various levels of resistance. On the heavier side if you're not cheating. It takes a few days to get into it and if you have stairs in your home you may want to center your activities on the main level for awhile because your backside is going to be sore. I'm not kidding but you'll feel better...eventually. This tightens up your backside and legs so nicely that in a few months you'll discover that you've literally kissed your ass goodbye. The hardest adjustment may be the bike seat. You can invest in a cheap pair of bike pants with a cushiony bottom for about $20. You won't regret it. If you opt not to, rest assured that in a few months you'll toughen up, not to the point of callouses but you'll adjust. It's probably no worse than riding a horse all day.

There are lots of things to remember. If you follow the teachings of the Dalai Lama you'll learn to live in the moment. The past is gone, the future is ahead and you're just there, taking a ride, letting everything fall away. You'll be prompted to relax your shoulders, keep your elbows down and tucked in, your heels down and your hands relaxed. I use the time to collect my thoughts and sort things out.

The intensity varies and you'll get in a zone and start enjoying it. There's a lot of heavy breathing, sweating and once in awhile you shudder, I'm still talking about spinning. When you get tired you can concentrate on the music or if you're a scifi nerd like me you can recite the Moctar chant of strength. " norak toroth, norak toroth". That's 'torOTH not Torah. Reciting the Torah is much harder but I can do it, and while standing on one foot. I can teach you to do it as well, but another day. For now I need both feet on the peddles.

The camaraderie with other spinners is outstanding, there's a bond. We are a group of people who prefer beating up our bodies to the din of loud music in a dimly lit room well before dawn.  It's all good. You can thank me later, when you're able to buy jeans off of ebay without even trying them on.

I wanted to mention one other thing. There's a website that I frequent called livestrong.com. I keep my food diary there. You can track what you eat and develop meals every day. You can also figure out what your caloric needs are and set goals for yourself. If you want to lose 20 pounds the site will calculate how many calories you should eat to lose 2 pounds a week. The 'Daily Plate' gives you an opportunity to list your foods and tells how you're doing by calculating your calories, grams of fat, sugar, protein etc. You can also calculate in your excercises and it will spit out what you burned. It's easy too, 'point and click'.

I love it but a word of caution. If you're somewhat OCD just relax a little. Don't get so into the numbers that you start freaking out about the sugar content of tomatos. Don't deny yourself for the sake of the numbers. If you're a few grams over, you'll live and you don't have to go public with your information. You have to make it work for your lifestyle. My goal right now is 120 grams of carbs and 15 grams of sugar, but that's just for a little while because that's not realistic long term. It's all about choosing a plan that's right for you.

I changed my eating habits a little over a week ago and I have a little more energy already. To you I say " live long and prosper" and check out that website!!  http://www.livestrong.com/

All the best, Kate