Headaches Continue, and not just the self inflicted ones.

Of the last 14 days of my headache diet I've had 12 headaches. I suppose it could be taking me that long to detox, but it seems unlikely. Looking back on my food diary it dawned on me that I can't think of anything. Wheat maybe but I don't eat a lot of it, or a lot of carbs for that matter. I haven't been drinking. I think I've only had a small glass of wine since Christmas, so it continues to be a conundrum to me.

Last year I took a daily medication and it worked but it was a hard adjustment. A couple days after my first few pills I was commissioned to play the piano at church. I felt tipsy and totally lacking focus. There were leaves dancing in the breeze and they shone through the stained glass window and caught my attention, holding it there until I completely spaced out the church service  The minister broke my trance and had to remind me to play the next hymn. I felt like the heroine in a twilight zone episode.

After a few weeks my spirits raised, I started sleeping better and the headaches started to go away. It happened so gradually I almost didn't notice. It was like one day I woke up and suddenly realized I didn't have headaches anymore. I began to adjust to the feeling  of being continually toasted. It was like having a central line with a conituous flow of whiskey, a perpetual happy hour. Never too drunk, never to sober just steady and kind of numb. I felt dull and uncreative. It was terrible, I had the ability to function but no desire, just the opposite of me with a headache. This is my brain on meds, ( nothing but us brain cells, shriveling with boredom ) this is my brain on headaches ( imagination soars to unbelievable heights and imaginary friends come out of the woodwork but they never shut up). It's all or nothing, intoxicating creativity or watching paint dry.

Such is my fate. I need to pick a lesser of two evils. Go back on the meds or keep experimenting with diet or whatever I can think of. I could try tai chi, hypnosis, energy healing, acupuncture or heated glass therapy. I tried chiropractic but it felt like a downward spiraling vortex that sucked me of money, not too mention a heightened awareness of spinal cord injuries. That's probably just scratching the surface of various therapies. I wonder if there's a therapy that involves fast cars and reggae.

I'll just keep on doing what I'm doing I guess and hope something  brilliant comes across the wire.

All the best, Kate

Really !

It was just one of those ridiculous days. You can't escape them because it's just part of the universal order of things. Call it Murphy's Law or whatever you like. It's the weird little oddities that are inevitable, really.

I finally found a great tasting sugar free cookie and it has 12 grams of fat in it. 
I visited my parents today and they have their thermostat set at 975 degrees, yes 975. It was so hot I got a sunburn, lost 4 pounds and started to peel on the drive home. They also pass gas alot and don't care who hears it.
I had a blood test today and I had to hold the tubes for the lab lady so she could use both hands.
Starbucks makes fantastic oatmeal with nuts and raisins for a mere $3.00
I drove 80 mph on the freeway and some idiot still tailgated me.
It only took me 6 minutes to drive to the bank which is 10 minutes away because I had all green lights.

To all of these things I say... REALLY...

I am about to scrounge the fridge looking for something for dinner. I may head back to Starbucks. That oatmeal made a lasting impression on me. So did it's 350 calories. I didn't have to eat the nuts and cranberries but I did, and it truly was delicious!

All the best, Kate

Sunday! Day of rest? By who's standards.

I'm beginning to understand the wisdom of eating small meals several times a day. It keeps one from making poor choices. I made a poor choice today, getting out of bed.

The day was a just little more stressful than I like but it was nice. I like when that happens. I did have to keep reminding myself to keep Christmas in my heart every other minute or so but I managed.


Long story, short version. I agreed to do a bridal show of the 'show your wares and samples as fast as you can to 500 brides' ilk. In the past I've done it and it's always come down to big investment, long hours and little return, but I'm hopeful. It's twenty-ten afterall and the brides were both beautiful and receptive. The organization and locale was stunning. The show was fun indeed. I was also booked to fill in for the musician at church. I thought it was supposed to be next week, but the dates were confused. It's usually a fun gig but today, today there was pressure.

My gentlemen husband, (he's so kind) left with me this morning, helped me set up our booth and then stayed at the show by himself while I ran out to play the piano. I played like the place was on fire! It was glorious. No fuss, no muss, just play, pray and on your way!!! I rushed back to the bridal show just as brides were beginning to trickle in and then that trickle turned into a flood and we were busy working our cake magic. Again, glorious!!

Is there a point you say! Truly, and here it is. I ate nothing all day but a 100% whole wheat english muffin with sugar free blueberry jam. My stomach started singing along during the sermon and continued right on through the offering. Thank God, for the communion, literally. I had a Homer Simpson moment.... brreeaad...hooo, and holy bread at that. Doh!

By the time we left the bridal show at 5:00 I was practically hallucinating. A nice man from a local restaurant strolled through passing out cookies and what did I do? I tackled him like a linebacker. I ate one cookie, but only one.

The poor choice was setting myself up to fail. Eating the cookie wasn't so terrible but  leaving myself with no other choices was nonsensical.  I should have gotten my keester out of bed and packed some carrots, fruit, rice cakes, anything!!  When we arrived home I inhaled a cup of decaf, vegan pizza, salad and a few kernels of last nights popcorn.. blaech!

Kids, I've learned my lesson. I will no longer venture out of the old homestead with nothing between me and the beast that is my hunger, but a mere tic tac. I'm determined to carry healthy snacks all the days of my life (and keep Christmas in my heart).

All the best, Kate